Surf Jokes

 

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Why didn't the skeleton catch the wave? Because he did not have any guts!

Why is the ocean a friendly place? Because anytime you get lonely you can wave and the ocean will
wave back!

What did the girl wave say after a thousand-mile trip to the beach? Sea shore she would never do it
again.

Why didn't the surfer ride the glassy waves? Because he heard they were breaking!

What did the wave say to the surfer? Have a swell time!

Why did the wave feel lucky? Because he was on a roll! Aloha


Things You Always Wanted to Say to Another Surfer


Thanks for wasting another wave. . . how many is that?

Could you park in front of me on the next wave, too?

If you want to go home now, no one will complain.

OK, you surf better than I do, but do you have to make it so obvious?

Its generally a good idea to look in front of you when you’re surfing.

Yes, you got 500 waves with your big board. . . now maybe you should try a turn or something.

You know, its not really fair that you weigh 30 pounds less than me.

Behind this fixed smile I’m tearing your head off for dropping in on me.

Nothing personal, but surfing is not the sport for you.

I saw you kook-out on that last wave— I’m just pretending like I didn’t see you eat it but I did

Gee you’re old. . . I don’t look like that, do I?

Please shut up, you’re getting on everyone’s nerves


Over Concerned Wifes  


Are you really going surfing again this Saturday?

I don’t understand it; the new board looks just like your other ones.

Why don’t you take the kids (your neighbor, cousin, dog, nephew, niece) to the beach with you?

Are you really going surfing in the rain?

What time are you going to be home?

Is the surf really better there?

How can you be tired? You were only out for three hours!

I guess the yard  will have to wait for next week.


Yo' Mamma Surf Cut Downs

Yo’ cutbacks are so lame, it take 10 minutes to change direction.

Yo’ bottom turns are so sad, the wave takes a break for you to catch up.

Yo’ style so sad, people call 9-1-1 when you paddle out.

Yo’ surfing so bad you should claim the 5th and be silent.

Yo’ turns are so sad, everyone think you still goin straight!

Yo’ ride was so bad, someone should run you over and put you out of yo’ misery.

Yo’ so out of shape they strap an oxygen battle to yo’ board.

Yo’ turns so ugly, even the sharks smile.

Yo’ leash is so old and stretched you can use it for dental floss.

Yo’ board has been repaired so many times, it weighs more than a two person kayak.

Yo’ board so rough you need a sign: “speed bumps ahead.”

Yo’ board is so nasty N.O.A. takes water samples when you surf.

Yo’ board so long the nose reaches the line up and the tail is still on the beach.

 Yo’ board so long you have to blow a horn before making a turn.

Yo’ board so long you need a limo to get it to the beach.

Yo’ board so long Navy jets try to land on its deck.

Yo’ board so long they made it in sections.

Yo’ board so fat the shop took a vacation while it dried.
 

Yo’ board so long boats try to dock when you paddle out.

Yo’ board so big you need a tug boat to turn it.

Yo’ board so big even the waves don’t want to hit it.

Yo’ board so short you should put the lease on the nose.

Yo’ board so short all we see is yo’ head stickin out of the water.

Yo’ board so short you can only stand one foot at a time.

When you go to Hawaii, yo’ board so short the airline lets you take it as carry on.

Yo’ board so short no one can tell which end is the front.


Cut Downs for Short Boarders


Why don’t you get a real surfboard?

Having fun trying to paddle into these waves?

How about adding a foot to that board?

Pretending to be 16 again?

I figure the sharks will go for the people who sit lowest in the line-up.


Cut Downs for Long Boarders


Why don’t you get a real surfboard?

Having fun trying to paddle out with that monster?

Dude really?  Are you riding a blank?

How many trees gave their lives for that thing?

Do you need help carrying that monster back to the parking lot?

Will that thing fit into a U-Haul truck?

I thought the 60’s were in the 60’s.

Is that a Buick or a Cadillac?

Bet that’s great for fishing.

Does it come with oars?

 

 

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